Your Horoscope From 1971 Is Still 100 Percent Accurate Today

Unfollow all of those annoying "Daily Horoscope" Twitter accounts — vintage Cosmo is really all you need to find out what's in store for you this month. Here's your February horoscope from 1971, translated for 2014.

~*~AquAriuS~~*



Basically 1971 and 2014 are the same, because yoga. 


~**PisCeS~**



Millenial translation: your favorite celeb will retweet your tweet (#victory), and your frienemy will piss you off a little less this month (#victory again).


~*AriEs~*~



Stop lusting over Juan Pablo and go find your own sexy traveler, he's out there somewhere just waiting for you. 


~*~TauRus~*~



Sounds a lot like an episode of The Hills. Whatever you do, don't be The Girl Who Didn't Go To Paris.


*~~GeMinI~**



Swap that "what's wrong card" for a text and that "racy Valentine" for a snapchat and you've got 2014. 


~*CaNcer*~*


Don't worry Cancer, the only man you really depend on is the pizza delivery guy. 


~*~LeO~**~ Buy your ticket to Britney Spears "A Piece Of Me" and get your ass to Vegas. 



*~VirGo~**



Looks like a great month for you Virgo. Even better? You just added "sexual generosity" to your vocab. You're welcome.



~*~LibRa~*~*


If you're disappointed by a lame night together watching Ryan Seacrest host American Idol, you need to spice things up in bed. 



*~~ScOrpiO~~* Your milkshake (new quilt) brings all the boys to the yard.  ~**SagiTtarIus*~*


Don't meet up with the guy you met on Tinder. And be careful about your end-of-the-month sex spree, don't do anything Dr. Oz wouldn't approve of. 


~*CaprIcoRn~*


If you accidentally sext your grandmother there's no turning back. 

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